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Movies, Relationships

Must See Movie: The Intouchables

No Comments 11 November 2015

An unlikely friendship develops between a wealthy quadriplegic and his caretaker, who was just released from prison. This movie is in french and is on Netflix, with subtitles. You’ll notice it for the first 5-10 minutes but once the movie starts to develop, you won’t care that it’s all subtitles. This movie is so good, it’s even worth learning french for. Watch it.

DoitAnyway

Misc, Relationships, Thoughts, World Issues

The Paradoxical Commandments

No Comments 08 July 2015

by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

keepmovingforward

Family, Relationships, Thoughts

Living, Loving, Learning & Losing

No Comments 22 December 2014

On May 17, 2001, the worst thing that could have happened, happened in the lives of me and my family. My mom died.

For about the next 10 years, I was in so much pain and I was so scared to love again that I would tell myself that I loved someone but I would never let them get close enough. I meet so many amazing people but there was no chance for anything to happen because I was so broken. I had many moments during those 10 years of grieving where I felt like I was healed but then something would happen and remind me just how broken I was.

In about 2011 I finally was at the point where I felt like I had healed enough to let someone in. But I still didn’t know who I was or where I was going. The three years from 2011-2014 have been the most revealing, beneficial, productive and eye opening in my life. I finally feel in a place where I was before mom died. I finally understand the path I’m on. I know how other people, especially women, need to be treated. I see things as they are and am more choosy about how I spend my time. I have been humbled by the friendship of my best friend, a dog, in Davy Whippet. I have been honoured to realize a few huge dreams and I have committed to having many more dreams and going after them.

I’m reminded by this quote:

It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

However, life isn’t always about being better. It’s about learning, connecting, sharing and doing our best.

Let me submit this revision of the quote:

Life is about loving and losing. That’s inevitable. But we must keep having faith. We must keep loving. We must not give up. We must keep moving forward.

Life isn’t easy. Everyone is dealing with their own thing. But we’re all in this together. As much as we need to worry about our own happiness, let’s try to be aware of how that affects someone else’s. If we don’t feel the same way as someone else or want the same things, be honest about it. It’s impeding our happiness along with theirs.

I’ve hurt far more people in my life than have hurt me. I didn’t always know what my actions meant. I have said words that I thought meant one thing but later on realized they didn’t. I have tried to apologize to anyone I have ever hurt because that was never my intention. I was trying to do the best I could with where I was at and with the information I had at the time. I have changed and grown a lot over the years but it doesn’t change what I’ve done in the past.

As a wise friend recently told me, imagine that everyone has their own emotional bucket. For every positive act, you add a bit to your bucket and to that other person’s bucket. For every negative act, you remove something from their bucket and your own bucket. When our bucket is empty, it doesn’t add to our bucket to take something from someone else’s. And vice versa. So let’s respond to negativity with positivity. Let’s respond to deceit with honesty. And let’s respond to hate with love.

I hope you have a very blessed Merry Christmas with those who are special to you – whether that be family or friends.

I will end this post with my favourite Christmas song, Happy Christmas by John Lennon:

martial arts master

Relationships, Thoughts

Love is Like Karate

No Comments 03 March 2014

Why is love like karate?

If you look at how the ranking system works in karate, there are different colours of obis (which is like a belt) which represents the level one has achieved.

The most widely practiced style of karate, shotokan, uses the following ranking system (from Wikipedia):

Level Obi colour
9th kyū orange
8th kyū red
7th kyū yellow
6th kyū green
5th kyū violet
4th kyū violet with
a white stripe
3rd kyū brown
2nd kyū brown with
a white stripe
1st kyū brown with
two white stripes
1st – 10th dan black

Each belt colour represents the level that one can achieve in karate and it represents hard work, dedication and commitment to the art of karate.

We can compare love to karate in this way because one could say that love represents hard work, dedication and commitment between two people.

6 Questions to Ask Before You Tell Someone You Love Them

Obviously there are more elements to love but as a person trying to understand what love might mean, I think this can be a useful analogy.

If you meet someone and they tell you that they love you, think about what level that love might be at. Is it very new? Maybe it’s an orange belt kind of love. Have you been together for a while? Maybe it’s a brown belt kind of love.

I think that once you get to the black belt level kind of love, that is such an advanced level representing the highest level of love – engagement, marriage, a lifelong partnership.

Some people get scared when they hear the “L-word” but in reality, love can represent a whole wide range of levels.

So the next time someone tells you that they love you, think about what colour of belt they’re wearing.

into-the-wild-into-the-wild-09-01-2008-21-09-2007-3-g

Movies, Relationships, Thoughts

My Review of the Movie “Into The Wild”

1 Comment 02 March 2014

Beautiful.

Sad.

Real.

Haunting.

Inspiring.

Tragic.

The moral of the movie…

Happiness [is] only real when shared.

online-dating-apps

Relationships, Thoughts

The 2 Approaches to Dating

1 Comment 21 November 2013

There are 2 approaches to dating – physical and emotional.

There are many ways to meet people today but you can categorize them in 2 ways – online and in real life.

The problem with meeting someone online is that you can get away with saying things you wouldn’t normally say to them in person and also you don’t really know what the person looks like since all you have to go off is whatever pictures that person chooses to share (usually the pictures they feel show their best side, not what they actually look like).

The problem with meeting someone in real life is that, although you can physically tell if you’re attracted to them, it will take longer to get to know them emotionally.

The issue of taking longer to establish an emotional relationship with someone is why many people choose to use online dating. It gives them the ability to talk to multiple people at once, both physically and emotionally filtering through, asking questions and ultimately choosing who they want to meet. At the end of the day, you can’t have a relationship with someone, either physically or emotionally, without meeting them. A virtual relationship could be completely fake if you haven’t met the other person. You can disagree with me on this, but after you meet someone in person, it changes the dynamic of your relationship since you can now put a face to a name.

Let’s get back to the title of this article – the 2 approaches to dating – and frame it mostly within the context of the online dating world, since the majority of people use this as a way to meet a partner.

There are many websites that tout themselves as being used to meet someone to date, to varying degrees. While there are a lesser number of websites that tout themselves as a way to meet a sexual partner, along with having the ability to date, although their initial point of contact is from a sexual perspective.

PlentyofFish, OkCupid, Match, EHarmony, LavaLife, Fetlife (NSFW), AdultFriendFinder (NSFW) are just a few of the sites out there that are available to meet someone.

Except for Fet and AFF, the others claim that they’re more about dating than sex, although at the end of the day, sex is a part of dating.

On those sites, it’s good to get to know someone before meeting. Find out about them. What they do, where they’re from, what matters to them. Talk on the phone with them. Skype with them. Then meet. That’s a good way to establish a base for an emotional relationship. Ultimately, we all will talk to someone on a dating site if we are A) attracted to their photos and B) interested in what they have to say. But, in order to meet will all depend on each person. Sometimes you know right away you’ll get along with someone so you might only talk for a few minutes before meeting. Other times, one person might take a bit more to open up and so it could take a few weeks to meet. However, no matter how you do it, connecting emotionally first is the best way to go if you are looking for a long term relationship. When the sex does happen, both partners will have some emotional connection established and so both (especially the guy) will be less likely to lose interest since he has emotion invested.

However Fet and AFF (and the other dating sites when used that way) make it very easy to meet someone without know much about that person other than what they look like and what their sexual preferences are. But, by starting off having sex with someone, there isn’t much emotion invested. Although this study shows that love can grow from having sex with someone, it also is very easy to lose interest with someone after sex because there isn’t a lot of emotion attached if it happens early.

Sometimes, the more you get to know about them, the less you’ll be interested in pursuing something with them. In that case, probably no sex. But if you start off sleeping with someone right away, there’s also a chance you won’t want to get know more about them either if it’s not good of if you’re just not feeling a strong connection.

This is based on experience, from talking to friends and from reading/watching videos on the subject. I’m not saying go slow but I do think it’s better to wait to have sex until there is a fairly strong emotional connection. Not only will the sex be better but I think there’s a greater chance for success in the relationship this way. If that’s what you’re looking for. If not, have fun!

Relationships, Thoughts

You Get What You Give

1 Comment 31 October 2012

Be giving of yourself to the person you are with.

What you give to them, you will get back. If you give love, you will get love back. If you give hate, you will get hate back.

Step out of yourself.

Be giving.

Be unselfish.

Take an interest in what other people are doing.

If you want to be someone’s priority, if you want love, respect, loyalty…you have to be giving of these things.

You get what you give.

Relationships, Thoughts

Honesty is the Best Policy…Or is it?

1 Comment 25 October 2012

The good thing about telling the truth is that you don’t have to think and can just tell it like it is.

The bad thing about telling the truth is that you don’t have to think and can sometimes say too much.

So how much is too much? And when should you only tell a part of the truth?

Many times, I’ve said too much. I believe in always being honest. Obviously there are white lies (is the Easter Bunny real) but c’mon now, we’re all adults and even though we found a list of the best adult lego sets to play with we still have to act like grown ups, because we kind of are. I’ve told my dad things I shouldn’t have told him. Because I’m honest. Sometimes I cause him unnecessary worry. Sometimes I cause him unnecessary grief. Sometimes I just plain bug him. But I’m always honest with him. There’s no reason not to be. Telling someone a lie takes effort – you have to come up with a story, or in many cases the opposite of what is the truth (no instead of yes). I’ve also had a potential relationship end because I was too honest. I told her more than I should have. But when someone asks me a question, I will answer it. I have nothing to hide so why not tell them the truth? Sometimes the truth is shocking, Sometimes the truth is more than that person can handle. But in the end, if you are real and are always honest, I think that will be the best policy.

I really like this quotation by Charles Dickens:

To conceal anything from those to whom I am attached, is not in my nature. I can never close my lips where I have opened my heart.

I care deeply. I love fully. There are things in my past which I am not proud of. But they are a part of my past. And they helped me get to where I am today. There was a 10 year period in my life where I was grieving for my mom – from when she passed away on May 17, 2001 up until about January 2011 – where I did things that I never thought I’d do. I was trying to find myself. I was trying to find meaning in my life. I was trying to feel something. When I was finally able to move past the pain and be myself, I looked at those situations and realized how much pain I must have been in to have done that. But I am stronger today for those experiences. I am constantly learning and growing. But I am a passionate soul who wants to be happy. And so I will be myself and be open and honest. And hope that those who care about me accept me for me.

Disc Sports, Relationships, Thoughts

Passion vs Obsession

2 Comments 18 January 2012

Some would say there’s a fine line between passion and obsession. First of all, what is the difference?

I found a great explanation that I will use here to frame the rest of this post.

Passion – when people admire you for it

Obsession – when you do it too much and people think you’re weird

However, how does one truly impact an industry, a culture, a generation without people thinking they’re weird? Especially when what you choose to be passionate about/be obsessed with is different from what everyone else is doing.

What happens when you’re literally the only person doing what you’re doing? Do you keep going because you have such a strong belief in what you’re doing? Do you keep going because you know you have the ability and the opportunity to impact a lot of people in a very positive way? Do you keep going because you love what you’re doing and the more you do it, the more you see the potential?

How long do you keep at something before you decide it isn’t worth it? How often and how much do you listen to the opinions of others? Do you reach out for help from your friends and family? Do they believe in your journey?

I truly believe that the difference between passion and obsession is a fine line. I believe that it is defined differently by different people.

Why am I asking this question? I admit that people think I’m weird for what I do. I’ve been made fun of but through it all, I do what I do because I deeply love throwing a frisbee. It’s like meditation for me. I don’t just throw because it’s fun. I throw because I’m good at it, and because I want to be better at it.

Do people think I’m weird because I’m passionate about frisbee and they don’t understand frisbee? Or do they think I’m weird because I am obsessed with frisbee? I would think the first because I don’t consider what I’m doing as an obsession. I think obsession means that it impacts you and those around you in a negative and harmful way.

Sure my involvement in frisbee has cost me thousands of dollars. Sure it’s taken up a lot of my time that I could have spent developing friendships and relationships. I’ve no doubt lost relationships because of the time I spend doing what I love. Ideally I want to involve as many people in my life as possible in disc sports. For me, it’s a lifetime of living an active lifestyle. There’s a reason we joke “when a ball dreams, it dreams it’s a frisbee”. There truly is no other toy than a frisbee. Although I did love my transformer toy which was one of the top transformer toys back in the day.

So I ask you, what do you think the difference between passion and obsession is?

Relationships, Thoughts

Significance of Tomorrow, May 17, 2011

No Comments 16 May 2011

For those who know me well, you know what happened to my family on May 17, 2001. We lost our sister, our wife, our daughter, our friend, my mom, Debbie McLeod.

Tomorrow it will have been 10 years since she passed away and I haven’t really thought much about tomorrow, or how long it’s really been until about a week ago. Not only that it’s been 10 years, but how much I’ve grown, changed, learned and realized in those 10 years.

I will write a post tomorrow about my mom but this post is about the past 10 years for me.

I’ve lost touch with many friends but gained many new (and amazing) friends.

I’ve followed my passions – some are still my passions, others not so much.

I’ve loved, thought I’ve loved, been heartbroken and only recently realized how small and insignificant those relationships all seem in the big picture. I’ve also recently taken a close look at my life and realized that I’m really excited for where I’m going and I only wish my mom could share in that.

For those of you who are still close with your mom, don’t wait until Mother’s Day to tell her that you love her. Make it a regular thing. You never know how much time you have with her. For me, it was 4 days after we went golfing as a family on Mother’s Day in 2001.

Family, Relationships, Thoughts

Having a Whole New Perspective

1 Comment 29 April 2011

I’ve always been told I was positive and optimistic.

I believe that people are inherently good.

There was some doubts in myself based on some past experiences. Doubts about love. Doubts about my future.

But there was a moment a few weeks ago when that changed.

When I felt more optimistic than ever.

When I felt more positive than ever.

When I had so much excitement + passion for living and the future.

I met someone.

And I feel like I have a whole new perspective.

Sometimes the timing is just right.

And you can 100% be yourself.

I feel that time is now.

This trip, this journey that we’re on. Life. It’s simply amazing.

And I’m loving every second.

Relationships, Thoughts

“If You Ever Need to Talk…I’m a Good Listener”

No Comments 10 April 2011

How many times has a friend said that to you? If you’ve ever been through a tough time, I’m sure you’ve heard it a lot. Or if you’ve had friends going through a tough time, I’m sure you’ve said it to them.

But what does it really mean to tell someone that you’re a good listener?

Does that mean that we sit there and while they talk, we don’t talk? Or are we supposed to actually hear what they say and understand what they’re saying so that we can respond to them, thus making it a two way conversation?

Based on what I’ve gone through in my life, I can tell you that being a good listener means a few things:

1. Be present and be aware – if you told your friend that you’d be there for them…then be there for them. Being there for your friend is worth giving up a few hours sleep once in a while. Or not going out drinking with your friends. Or watching your favourite tv show another night. Think about what is really important in life. Relationships. Caring about people. Love. Connections. That’s what matters.

2. While they talk, listen and hear what they’re saying. When they’re not talking, give your honest feedback/insight/opinion. If you don’t think they can handle what they should hear, don’t tell them. But don’t make something up because you think that’s what they want to hear. Life is too short to tiptoe around and tell people something you don’t really mean. A friend of mine asked earlier on Facebook what people thought integrity meant. I told her “doing what you say and saying what you do”. I think that applies to every facet of your life. You can start now. It’s as simple as being yourself.

If you don’t think you’re able or ready to do these two things for a friend, then don’t tell them “if you ever need to talk…I’m a good listener”.

They’ll appreciate you more for being honest than for you being a terrible listener.

Misc, Relationships, Thoughts

Compromise – Necessary in Any Relationship

No Comments 27 July 2010

Compromise isn’t a bad thing. Although it can be, the type of compromise I’m talking about is healthy compromise.

First of all, what does compromise mean? According to Merriam Webster online, the definition which I find applicable is

something intermediate between or blending qualities of two different things

The reason this definition fits well is that because in any relationship (whether it’s a friendship, a family member, or your spouse) in order to be happy, there will have to be a blending of two different things. Say for example you’re dating someone who loves watching the Bachelorette but you love watching Golf – how can you blend these together? Well, you could let them have their time to watch the Bachelorette and in turn, they would let you watch golf during the final round on Sundays. This would be a hands off compromise. A more involved compromise would be her watching golf with you and you watching the Bachelorette with her. This is a healthier compromise I believe because both partners are taking an interest in each other’s lives (albeit through television, but an interest nonetheless).

With family members, a compromise could involve how often you visit, where you visit, christmas presents, etc…

With friends, a compromise could involve having someone different choose a restaurant/movie each time so the same person isn’t always getting what they want.

The amazing thing with individuals is that everyone has their own unique interests. Many times, whether in a friendship or relationship, these interests will overlap, but the beauty is that when they don’t, you do have the ability to blend those different interests together.

It will make for unexpected situations, discovering new happiness and having a different perspective on everyday things. The next time you are in a situation where a compromise seems like the only option…go for it. You might surprise yourself with how much fun you end up having!

Relationships, Thoughts

Knowing You’re Happy – Without ‘Settling’

No Comments 15 July 2010

How do you know if you’re doing the right things in order to be happy?

How do you know if you’re doing the right job?
How do you know if you have the right friends?
How do you know if you’re dating the right person?

Well, take a minute to think about any one of these. Are you happy in:

1. Your job? What aren’t you happy about? Can you change your unhappiness?

2. Your friends? What is about them that makes you unhappy? What sort of friendship do you have with them? Is it worth staying friends with them?

3. Your relationship? What makes you unhappy with them/the relationship? Can you change that unhappiness?

The reason I throw these questions at you is that although sometimes your unhappiness does come from external forces,  many times that unhappiness comes from you and how you approach the situation.

In a job, are you working hard? Are you making excuses and blaming others at work? Is there more you can do to make the situation better? Perhaps stay late a few days to get caught up on work and make your boss happier. Remember, as much as your boss is pressuring you to do work, their bosses (who have much bigger paycheques) are also putting pressure on you, so there is always more to the story than you initially might think.

In a friendship, there are two sides – yours and theirs. Friendships can be unbalanced – but it’s up to you to decide if you’re going to accept that. Maybe you’re not the one putting in much effort – or maybe it’s your friend. Whatever the case, be realistic with yourself and realize what type of friendship you have. Choose friends who have a positive influence on your life. It’s not worth hanging around people who put you and/or your friends down. Those people will continue to suck the energy from you as long as you let them – so don’t let them!

In a relationship, like a friendship, there are two sides. However, a relationship involves much more. It involves you making sure the other person feels safe around you and vice versa. That you support them no matter what. That when they want to talk, you’re there to listen. As much as you want to be their best friend, you are also much more than that so you should only be with someone who makes you happy and who you can share your life with. If they don’t want to support you and aren’t excited for your accomplishments, then why are you with them? There is someone out there who would love to do that for you – and you for them.

I find sometimes life gets so busy that we don’t take the time to think about our happiness. I know it happens to me so sometimes you need to do some housecleaning. Take a look at what’s important in your life and decide what you can change to make yourself happier.

It’s possible. For me it happened recently. And I’m glad it did.

Relationships, Thoughts

Are You An Option or a Priority?

No Comments 25 January 2009

“Don’t let someone become a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs.”

Wow, I saw this quote on someone’s status on Facebook last week and it struck a huge chord.

Why spend so much time and energy trying to talk to others when they’re not making the same effort trying to talk to you?

I know it goes both ways. There are people in my life who make way more effort than I do. They realize perhaps that I don’t have the same amount of time for them as they do for me, and I can appreciate that. It’s cool they still put in the effort. And sometimes you have to be the one to put in more effort.

But on a regular basis? And why should one person have to do all the work in a relationship? They shouldn’t. Relationships which are one sided are not healthy relationships at all.

And so with that, it’s time to prune.

Disc Sports, Events, Family, Maritimes, Misc, Relationships, Thoughts

Heart…or Head?

No Comments 01 October 2008

I find it interesting that when we follow our heart it can tend to contradict what our head is saying; and vice versa. How do we truly know what is right? I like to think that what our heart says will always lead us in the right direction. I believe that passion comes from your heart and if we always do what we love (as long as it isn’t something like heroin, stealing or murder) then it will lead us in the right direction and help our life be what we want it to be. That’s pretty much the “Secret” that there was so much hype about a few years ago. There is not “secret”. Do what makes you happy and be with whom you love and the rest will follow. But what happens when you aren’t sure what that is. Or are trying to figure that out and in the process make a mistake? That’s when you start to question “Did I do the right thing?” But, as long as you do what feels right, then things will work out the way they were meant to be.

It can be a scary idea, but you need to have faith. For a while I’ve been lacking that faith. I guess it’s fairly normal to feel that loss of faith after such an amazing person, my mom, was taken from us a short 7 years ago. I still remember every detail about that night. The time everything happened. The day. The date. The events. I still find it hard to believe that she is gone and I miss her so much. I still cry every so often about her and I just want so badly to be happy. I mean, I am happy, but I want to share my happiness with someone. At times it feels like karma is out to get me. I never maliciously try to hurt anyone. I’m looking for what everyone else is I suppose. Maybe I go about it differently. Maybe I go about it the same way. All I know is that I feel close. Maybe I feel like I have it. I don’t know some days and other days I am absolutely sure. I guess all we can do is have that faith (which I feel that I am starting to regain, which is a great feeling). I went for a run the other night and I think it was the first time in a long time that I have felt so clear and fresh. Dean and I have finally started talking again. I am seeing my family more. And I have met someone. I feel like things are coming together once again but there are still so many daily tasks that need to be done (school and work) that at times I wish I had a few months off to just relax. I think when I’m graduated I will be taking that time off to just relax. Since I graduated high school, I have been either in school or working. I really haven’t had time to relax. Sure, going away for the weekend to California, Utah, Washington and BC amongst other places is great, but really when you go to play 7 games of frisbee and get home exhausted and having to get back into your normal busy lives, it’s not a vacation. At all. I truly need a vacation. I think I’m going to go to Fort Mac again at the end of November and see my cousin Natalie and my buddy Chris. I miss Natalie so much. We both have the mutual understanding that family is important and that we don’t do all we can to see each other. We are planning on a week vacation next summer in PEI; I really hope that happens.

I guess that’s what is on my mind currently. It’s been a tough week. This weekend is the last weekend of ultimate until the spring so as sad as I am to be done, it’ll be nice to have some time again for myself and the rest of my life on weekend and evenings. It’s been a long, expensive season.

Rob out.

Relationships, Thoughts

Thought On My Mind…Follow Your Heart

No Comments 08 July 2008

So a friend of mind had the following on her msn name: “What makes a man walk away from his mind?”

It’s a lyric from the City and Colour song “What Makes a Man”.

Since she said to me “Think about it…” I have been and it’s been really bugging me. Just thinking about what it could possibly mean. Definitely there are different interpretations, but for me, I think that line means what makes a man stop thinking with his head and start thinking with his heart? I know that many times our heart says one thing and our head says another, and our heart is usually what we want to do while our head is what we know we should do (to avoid spending money, time, taking a big risk, etc etc etc).

However, I have always lived by my heart and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Without our heart, we are just a logical, rational pile of molecules that doesn’t have any feelings (well not really, but you know…ha). But seriously, I will never stop living with my heart. I will continue to make mistakes. I will continue to frustrate those that care about me…my family and my friends. They try to give me advice. They try and tell me what they see and in the end it is usually right. But I would rather take a chance on my heart and be hurt than not take the chance and never get to experience those feelings and  relationships. We only have one life, so why not live in the moment? Why are people so afraid to put their heart into something or someone that they care about? Why are people so hesitant to be passionate about something?

milkyway

Misc, Relationships, Thoughts, World Issues

The Awakening

1 Comment 28 February 2008

by Sonny Carroll

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon. You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the face that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn’t always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and for what you really stand. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or with which you should never have bought into to begin. You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you learn not to always take it personally. You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.


About Rob


Rob "Frisbee Rob" McLeod is a motivational speaker and frisbee ambassador living in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He competes in ultimate, disc golf, dog disc and overall flying disc competitions. Rob currently holds 6 Guinness World Records, 10 World Championships and the Canadian Distance Record.

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