If you are like most people, then you sweat the small stuff that you cannot control. Small stuff that other people do which may or may not have anything to do with you. But you let it affect your day.
But it doesn’t have to be like that. You can live a life that is more relaxed, more easy going and has less stress.
Work on expanding your domain of control. It’s very simple in theory but hard in practice.
For myself, it’s taken me a while to get to this point but it’s through a combination of dealing with my mom’s death, speaking in front of hundreds of kids, finding my path and pursuing my passion.
When you expand your domain of control, you learn to focus more on what you can control rather than on what you cannot control.
You also learn to realize that a lot of what happens isn’t personal and is someone else’s attempt at controlling you. Your friends. Your family. Your co-workers. Your partner.
When you expand your domain of control, you will find that your stress will immediately be reduced and even when you get into stressful situations, you will be more calm and capable of dealing with things.
For example, if your neighbour’s hedge is 2 inches too high according to the local bylaw, SO? Let it be 2 inches too high.
If someone’s insecurities cause them to make a decision that you don’t like, SO? Move on. It’s their issue to deal with.
When someone in government does something stupid, SO? Everyone makes mistakes, tries to get attention and ultimately is a person just like anyone else. Just because they are an elected official, why focus on the small details? Let what they do or don’t do go.
I’m not saying have a more apathetic life. I’m simply saying to realize when something happens that you cannot control.
It can be summed up in this simple quote:
“You must control what you can; cope with what you cannot.”
Each person is different. The larger your domain of control, the more impact you’ll have on the world and the less you’ll care about what is happening locally. The smaller your domain of control, the less impact you’ll have globally and the more you’ll care about what is happening locally.
I’ve learned that I would rather have less of an impact on a larger number of people than have more of an impact on a smaller number of people. So I see my domain of control being much larger than most people. Which means that I tend to care less about what is happening locally and not be as involved on a local level because I am more focused on having a global impact.
So I challenge you to look at your domain of control. Should you expand or contract it? No matter what you decide, make sure that you are living within that. Because I think problems arise when we try to leave our domain or don’t realize what belongs inside that domain.