Misc, Relationships, Thoughts

Compromise – Necessary in Any Relationship

No Comments 27 July 2010

Compromise isn’t a bad thing. Although it can be, the type of compromise I’m talking about is healthy compromise.

First of all, what does compromise mean? According to Merriam Webster online, the definition which I find applicable is

something intermediate between or blending qualities of two different things

The reason this definition fits well is that because in any relationship (whether it’s a friendship, a family member, or your spouse) in order to be happy, there will have to be a blending of two different things. Say for example you’re dating someone who loves watching the Bachelorette but you love watching Golf – how can you blend these together? Well, you could let them have their time to watch the Bachelorette and in turn, they would let you watch golf during the final round on Sundays. This would be a hands off compromise. A more involved compromise would be her watching golf with you and you watching the Bachelorette with her. This is a healthier compromise I believe because both partners are taking an interest in each other’s lives (albeit through television, but an interest nonetheless).

With family members, a compromise could involve how often you visit, where you visit, christmas presents, etc…

With friends, a compromise could involve having someone different choose a restaurant/movie each time so the same person isn’t always getting what they want.

The amazing thing with individuals is that everyone has their own unique interests. Many times, whether in a friendship or relationship, these interests will overlap, but the beauty is that when they don’t, you do have the ability to blend those different interests together.

It will make for unexpected situations, discovering new happiness and having a different perspective on everyday things. The next time you are in a situation where a compromise seems like the only option…go for it. You might surprise yourself with how much fun you end up having!

Relationships, Thoughts

Knowing You’re Happy – Without ‘Settling’

No Comments 15 July 2010

How do you know if you’re doing the right things in order to be happy?

How do you know if you’re doing the right job?
How do you know if you have the right friends?
How do you know if you’re dating the right person?

Well, take a minute to think about any one of these. Are you happy in:

1. Your job? What aren’t you happy about? Can you change your unhappiness?

2. Your friends? What is about them that makes you unhappy? What sort of friendship do you have with them? Is it worth staying friends with them?

3. Your relationship? What makes you unhappy with them/the relationship? Can you change that unhappiness?

The reason I throw these questions at you is that although sometimes your unhappiness does come from external forces,  many times that unhappiness comes from you and how you approach the situation.

In a job, are you working hard? Are you making excuses and blaming others at work? Is there more you can do to make the situation better? Perhaps stay late a few days to get caught up on work and make your boss happier. Remember, as much as your boss is pressuring you to do work, their bosses (who have much bigger paycheques) are also putting pressure on you, so there is always more to the story than you initially might think.

In a friendship, there are two sides – yours and theirs. Friendships can be unbalanced – but it’s up to you to decide if you’re going to accept that. Maybe you’re not the one putting in much effort – or maybe it’s your friend. Whatever the case, be realistic with yourself and realize what type of friendship you have. Choose friends who have a positive influence on your life. It’s not worth hanging around people who put you and/or your friends down. Those people will continue to suck the energy from you as long as you let them – so don’t let them!

In a relationship, like a friendship, there are two sides. However, a relationship involves much more. It involves you making sure the other person feels safe around you and vice versa. That you support them no matter what. That when they want to talk, you’re there to listen. As much as you want to be their best friend, you are also much more than that so you should only be with someone who makes you happy and who you can share your life with. If they don’t want to support you and aren’t excited for your accomplishments, then why are you with them? There is someone out there who would love to do that for you – and you for them.

I find sometimes life gets so busy that we don’t take the time to think about our happiness. I know it happens to me so sometimes you need to do some housecleaning. Take a look at what’s important in your life and decide what you can change to make yourself happier.

It’s possible. For me it happened recently. And I’m glad it did.

About Rob

Rob "Frisbee Rob" McLeod is a motivational speaker and frisbee ambassador living in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He competes in ultimate, disc golf, dog disc and overall flying disc competitions. Rob currently holds 6 Guinness World Records, 10 World Championships and the Canadian Distance Record.


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